A Friend in need...?

Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!"

- Bronwyn Polson

I take my friendships seriously, and always will. A few of my friends have been friends since high school. In fact, I was browsing through some photos that I found in a box in the basement. I noticed a particular photo of a friend that I hadn’t seen since that photo was taken in 1975; he disappeared, as far as I knew.

When I saw that photo of him and his mother, I did a search on the good old Internet and found his name online. I sent him an email and about a month later I got an answer. He had left for New York to join a singing group, The Platters, and has been with them ever since. We have been talking ever since, reminiscing all of the things we did with our small group of friends way back in the late 60s and early 70s.

With the inception of the Internet and social media like MySpace, Facebook and the first network I joined, Black Planet, friends are a dime a dozen. Back when I joined MySpace, at its height, with me, I got up to a little over 1,000 friends, internet friends. Of course I didn’t know any of those folks. I came to the conclusion that people were just looking for other people to be friends just to boost their numbers.

Years later, I decided to drive across the country, I was going to two bowling tournament on both ends of the country. I put in a note, on MySpace, the direction I was going and where I would be during my drive so I could meet those who wanted to meet me. And those I met are now good friends.

This brings me to my story of friends. I have a friend; I sometimes think he is a friend, sometimes it’s too close to call. He and I have known each other since the 80s, because we worked together, in the same building, but different shifts. But, since there was only the two of us we worked overtime, on Saturdays, together. We did that for a good 10 years or so.

I like a lot about this friend of mine, easy going kind of guy. A short, stout, fireplug type of guy. He was fast to give out money to women he met, even though he was married, then brag to me about it. What stood out about him was that, as he would tell it, he stopped going to school when he was about 8 years old, living in Mississippi and moved in with an aunt, up north. During his life he learned to make money collecting junk and turning it in to cash.

Knowing him now, I would have to say, on paper, he might be worth three quarters of a million dollars, on paper. He complains about all the money he doesn’t have, but will go out and buy something, expensive, and tell me what he just purchased. I know he has five houses, here in Michigan and a couple in Mississippi, all of which he paid cash for. He has about 13 or more cars, quite a few new and a lot older classic models, including, which I would love to buy from him and restore myself, a 1931 Ford.

Anyway, on one of my trips to California, for a cancer seminar, and on my return I stopped at his place. I miscalculated the amount of money I had, because gasoline was over $4 a gallon, and was running out. I had about 1,000 miles left to go and figured I wasn’t going to make it home. So, I asked him and borrowed $100 to get home.

At that point in my life I knew I was going to run out of money sooner or later, as I had retired, a couple of years before, and I knew I would have to find a job or write and sell a book or something to get by. Consider, my 401 had crashed, lost my stocks and the cash I had helped save my house, leaving with no more reserves.

Things got worse for me in the year or so that followed and I had a hard time finding some extra to pay him back. Prior to that time, the loan, we had talked just about every day, just talked and I mean for at least an hour or so. He retired the year before I did and we kept in touch. After the loan he stopped calling and when I called he was busy or had something to do or whatever. The calls got shorter and then non-existent. For a whole year I hear nothing from him, not even a Christmas card, which was the first time I didn’t get one from him.

This past December I got a bonus from my former company, (a total surprise to me). So, I sent him a Christmas card with a C-note inside. I called him and told him to look for the letter I sent. Well, he got the card about Christmas time and he called to tell me he received it. Now, since he got the cash back he has called me at least 6 times. In fact, he called today and we talked for a good hour, general stuff. Go figure.

Never in my life have I ever wanted to take advantage of anyone, ever. That’s just not my way. Some friendships are hard and trust is even harder to get. I work hard to get both, sometimes I work way to hard and I have to say it can backfire, sometimes, especially if I am trying to make something work with a, let’s say, a girlfriend. But, that’s another story I’m about to write about.

I am glad we are chatting again. I guess the lesson I learned is; the richest man in the world is not the one who still has the first dollar he ever earned. It's the man who still has his best friend. Even better; it is better in times of need to have a friend rather than money.