Monday, January 24, 2011

...and the horse says I am a pain in the ass?


I know this sounds like I am beating dead horse to death, but, I still have a pain in my butt. The same pain I have had for a couple of weeks, and I just figured out why it still hurts and what I have to do to make it go away.

A couple of weeks ago I was exploring my new Blu-ray player and noticed a lot of junk they added to it so people can peruse the extensive junk for a greater viewing pleasure. So, I decided to check out their junk, for my viewing pleasure.

One of the things there is, How to do…things. One of those, how to do things, was exercise, specifically, running up and down the stairs. Well, since it has been snowing out, lately, I have been trying to figure out something to do to keep my figure in shape, (if round is a shape, then I am in perfect shape!). So, I watched it and got the idea, which is what I need to do on cold winter days.

I guessed I could have done this in my sleep, so I set my timer for 20 minutes and preceded to run up the stairs and

At a quick pace and walk back down, just like in the video. Eight minutes in, I was huffing and puffing and had to stop. I sat down and could not get back up. Well, that ended my running up and down the stairs for that week.

Anyway, I tried running the stairs again this weekend, this time I was going to only do 10 minutes and go a little slower. That is when I figured out where the pain in my butt came from. And it’s been hurting ever since, but really only when I sit down and remain seated for over, two minutes. But, the more I think about it that pain is more about what happened a few years ago.

Yes, I am in all kinds of pain, literally and figuratively. This pain, in my butt, kind of got started a little after June 2, 2009. That's the day, when I was playing softball and I was doing well. I had just gotten a single and was standing on first base, (who’s on first?). The person behind me hit a ground ball to the second baseman. I ran to second but the second baseman was standing in my path.

What I did was plant my foot, so I could spin out of his way, but, my foot stayed planted and as I turned I heard pop and felt the most excruciating pain in my hamstring muscle. I went down and grabbed my leg, and when I straightened it the pain kicked in. What made the whole scene, in my mind, as I rolled on the ground in pain, so funny, the guy came to me and tagged me out. He looked at me and said, “You’re out!” If I could have stood up I would have...

A few days later, my life of pain flashed before me. Being retired it kind of gave me pause to reflect on my, well, not really a painful life, considering...I was a rough and tumble kid. My brothers and I had the reputation of jumping from tall building, able to leap around playgrounds and look, up in the sky, sitting on rooftops, it’s the Green boys.

Yes, I remember doing a lot of crazy kid things, falling off of things, jumping from second story houses onto mattress’s, climbing flag poles and jumping from garage roof-tops to the next garage roof-top. Luckily I never broke anything. We did things like, having firecracker fights, pouring gasoline into sewers and ROTFLMAO at the results. Walking on the tops of fences, I fell once but bounced back up with no problem.

As a kid I don't remember ever getting hurt, not once, really bad. Oh I had scrapes and scratches and stuff like that, but never where there was the amount of pain I had on June 2, 2009! I do remember, as I grew older things started to fall off and I had to have surgery to repair or remove those body parts. But, the pain was not as intense, any of those times.

I do remember when I had my tonsils taken out; I think I was about 24 years old, at the time. Anyway, when I got home from the hospital, and no, I wasn't given any ice cream, and like an idiot I went out jogging the next day. I was in pain for a few days after that. Again, not a painful as that warm, and mild day in June of 2009.

Throughout my life, I have had seven, elective, surgeries. Well, one of them wasn't and that was the day I had my prostate out. I remember the pain of those days, but it still wasn't as bad as, well, you know, that day in June.

Pain is relative, absolutely. As I sit here typing I have a slight ping in my left butt cheek, my neck, my ear...I have had three ear infections January of 2010. This one is going away without antibiotics, this time, I am doing well, and it’s getting better, abet the pain, in the butt…

I just realized that I can't always be in pain. I did the pain thing, way back when, to get attention from women. And it worked. I can't do that now. That's because I used to and still do play a lot of sports. Still playing racquetball, softball, bowling, jogging, weight-lifting, and skiing. So, my muscles still twinge every now and then. My girlfriend, on the other hand has no sympathies for me at all, none what so ever. When I go over to her apartment, on Tuesday after racquetball, I am usually humped over, racked with pain, well, just a little. I usually take a Motrin and I am fine in the morning. And that usually last, the pain, until I get home. But, no sympathies from her. Now, she says I am just whining no matter how much pain I may be in. Geez!

I just decided that I would never be in pain, around her again. And, as I remember, when I was way younger, I use to meditate and got good at it to the point I was never in pain or for that matter, never sick. I would also think positive thoughts and “Voila” no pain.

I bet you didn't know, but I hadn't caught a cold in about 10 years until about 1993 or so, when I was talking to a youngster, about 5 or 6, and he sneezed right into my face! Buggers and all! The next week, on a ski trip to Vail I was sick as a guy with a cold! I was really bad for the first few days, but hey, lift tickets are expensive and I still got three days of skiing in.

Now that I think about it, I have had three colds since 1993 and two of them were in 2010. I have to get back into positive thoughts, especially for pain!

Ouch, I just felt a twinge of pain in my shoulder when I reached for my glass of water. Oh well, somebody is telling me something. I'd better listen! No pain is all gain!

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