Showing posts with label author. Show all posts
Showing posts with label author. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Coffee, black and...cover your lady parts.

On my way to a café, the other day, in one of those towns where the uber hipsters hang out, I thought I’d park my car a little further away so I could get a little refreshing walk in. I crossed the street and made a quick left, heading to the café in the middle of the block.

Ahead of me were two young women. One of them had a head of bright blond hair with dark brown streaks in it, topped with a blue thingy wrapped around her hair ending in a long ponytail. She had on a colorful; I don’t know what you call it, a Halter top that exposed her belly button and a blue, short skirt that had frills on the ends near her knees. On her feet were beige-colored platform style shoes with straps that went up her ankles.

All of a sudden, she rolled her ankle, tripped and went down. She rolled over on her butt and as I walked to her to help her up, I noticed that she had no underwear on. It seemed like an eternity as I reached for her hand to help her up. She looked at me for a moment and said, “Did you like what you saw?”

I said, “No. You could use a trim or a Brazilian, maybe, or dye it the same as what’s on your head.” I smiled, and turned into the café. I then ordered a coffee, black, no sugar or cream. I wanted a brownie, but they didn’t have any that day, so I got one of those large, soft, chocolate chip cookie. I went and sat down on a vacant sofa and waited for my comrades to come. I was going to read some of my poetry, that day.

I was just about to get comfy when that young lady marched over to me. She stood there for a second then bent over to say something to me that only I could have heard.
“Are you some kind of pervert?” She said…her eyes wide, her face almost expressionless. I was shocked, but only for a second or two.

Looking dead into her eyes I said, “Youngster, I have seen, touch, tasted, and played with over xxx women in my lifetime. I am over xx years old and that,” pointing at her crotch, “doesn’t excite me as much as it did when I was your age.” I looked up at her and smiled, then added, “Besides, a pervert would have had a camera and took plenty of pictures. My camera was in my pocket.”

She straightened up and put her hands on her hips. I noticed the corner of her lip started to erect into a tiny smile. I figured she wanted to burst out laughing, but she didn’t. She turned and started to walk out of the café. I noticed, as she walked away, her rear end was sashaying, a definite prominence that she didn’t have as she was walking down the street. 

At that moment I realized, I had lied to her. Something I don’t do often, fibbing, not telling the truth. I did get excited, just a little, a tiny bit. Just enough to let me know, I’m still human.

Forty-five minutes later, as I sat listening to one of my friends read their poems, that youngster walked back onto the café, over to me and whispered into my ear, “can I get a ride home?”



Thursday, May 22, 2014

TEN THINGS ABOUT ME, OKAY A FEW MORE THAT 10…

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I'm stuck, again, with writing one of my stories, well, actually an outline. I got a new idea for a new story and have been trying to outline for the last couple of days. I got a little bit done today, but I am still stuck. I thought that if I had a large cup of coffee and a HOT brownie I could put more words down on paper – computer screen. Well, that didn’t really work but I did come up with something else I could write about – me, sort of.
A few things you may not know about, well, since most people, online, know nothing about me anyway, I found 10 things, or more, that I am willing to post. Ten things, (or more if can think of them.)
  1. I am a big sports fan. I love sports, well just Baseball, football and college basketball and football, golf, and tennis.
  2. I am very active. I still play softball, bowl, golf, ride my bike just about every day, walk 5 miles every other day, and run on the odd days, I go camping, I love to kayak and I am in a ski club, a very active club.
  3. I am an extrovert, introvert. Meaning I love giving parties (17 years of Super Bowl parties). However, I also enjoy being here, alone, at home, by myself either writing, or watching sports on the boob tube.
  4. I meditate.
  5. I am a vegetarian. I haven’t had red meat in 35 years. I was a pescatarian for 10 of those years (when I was married)
  6. I am a cat person. I have two cats, one who is sitting in my lap as I type this list. At one time, with my first wife, we had nine cats!
  7. I am a dreamer. Have been since I was in my teens.  Most of my stories, that I outlined, as of today, 52 outlines, I dreamt about way back then. I had a dream the other night and, hence the new outline I am stuck on, today.
  8. I love to talk. It’s hard for me to end a conversation.
  9. I would rather pick up the phone and call my friends and family. (They never call, though).
  10. I love to laugh. I watch more funny things on the boob tube than anything else.
  11. I’m have a need to know, so I watch the news more often than not.
  12. I’m retired.    
  13. I have a 129 IQ… Okay, I took that test 40 some odd years ago, but hey, it still works for me.
  14. I love word games. My mother was a scrabble master and it rubbed off on me.
  15. I’m a cancer survivor.
  16. I am now a writer and Author!
Now that I think about I have many, many more things about me, but I am also a very private person – naw, not really.