EGGNOG

Today is a cold and cloudy day, and the first day of winter. I was going to write about a wonderful day, but it’s been a bad day for me. No, not the fire and brimstone type of day just for me a day I hope doesn’t happen to come again.

In retrospect, all my days are good, as in everyday is Saturday, except Sunday. But, last night I went to the store to purchase some Eggnog so I could drink my Captain Morgan spicy rum. Of course I wandered the store and picked more that I went into the store to get.

As I got to the spot where the milk was I spotted my favorite eggnog, but as I opened the door I also noted that there was a sale of eggnog, the store brand, in a half a gallon size. The more the merrier and it only cost $1.99, the real stuff cost about $4 to $5! I thought I was saving a few bucks.

Anyway, I kind of got busy last night, working on my blog page and I had sold a book on Half.com, which was kind of cool and surprising to me. Because, I had only set the page up the day before, someone wanted that book. Then I got online with my daughter-in-law (future) and we chatted online for about an hour. After that I went and watched an old western, one of my favorites, Silverado.

By the time I was going to bed I had forgotten to make my rum and spicy eggnog drink, so I decided to drink a glass of the eggnog by itself. I opened up the plastic eggnog jug and poured in almost eight ounces of the creamy, sweet milk. Much to my surprise, it was awful, Terrible and nasty!

And to top it off, I don’t know, I have no sane reason why I finished off that glass of crap. I guess something to do when I was a kid and my mother drilled it into my, and my siblings, don’t waste food. I remember the, kids in China are starving speech, and starving kids in Africa speech. So, I am one of those people, now, who hates to waste food.

In fact I remember when I was married, my ex-wife loved to cook, and she cooked for a party of ten, sometimes, and there was only me, her and my two sons. So, what happens, I would clean my children’s plates when they wouldn’t eat theirs. And of course the left-overs, too. Now that I think about it, in the 10 years we were together, I went from 155 (at 6’) to 280! After the divorce I spent about four hours a day, for two years in the gym.

In any case, I got into bed, watched the local news, played with the cat, who wouldn’t leave me along…(he’s now sitting on my lap as I type this, they just won’t leave me alone, but that is another story, coming soon.). Around midnight, the lights went out and I think I might have drifted off, but I know I didn’t.

My heart was pounding and I was sweating, and there was a buzzing in my ears and to top it off my stomach was talking to me. I couldn’t quite make out what it was saying, but it sounded familiar, I know I had heard it before, but it had been a while.

Now, you might be asking yourself, why the heck did he drink the eggnog when that drink is very rich, thick and way too sweet? Well, I’ll tell you, it because it is great with Captain Morgan spicy rum, that’s why. And I have been drinking eggnog with rum since around Thanksgiving. I have just started on my second bottle, I am not a big drinker, it took me a month to finish that first bottle and it had been in the shelf for at least a year or more.

So, those 4 or so quarts of eggnog didn’t bother me, of course it was mixed with rum, at the time. Now that I think about it I remember having a glass or two of eggnog without rum and nothing happened to me. Sometimes I am lactose intolerant and sometimes I not. I wasn’t as a kid or for that matter growing up. I might go for years, no problem. Hit McDonalds one day, because they have the best milkshakes, and BANG, lactose is kicking my butt, literally.

Speaking of kicking my butt, that’s what happened last night. I remember tossing and turning most of the night. I guess in my mind I wanted to see the eclipse that just happened to be going on last night. Around 3:34am I woke up, my stomach asked me an important question and I had to answer.

So, I ran to the bathroom and sat there for a good 20 minutes. Of course my cat, Tom, decided to follow me, I was sure he was sound asleep. It's funny, because he doesn’t like to step on cold tile, which my bathroom is, except the little square rug in front of the toilet. So he leaped over the tile and onto the carpet and just sat there on the lookout for Jerry, who was asleep somewhere else in the house.

I woke up at seven a.m. to a hungry cat. He likes to walk all over me and lately he has been punching me in my mouth when I first wake up. I think he is trying to tell me to feed him. Anyway, my stomach was still talking to me, so I just had tea and toast for breakfast, today. When I finished my daily exercise and meditation the bubbling and pain stopped. All is well for now.

I took the rest of the eggnog and the unopened eggnog back to the store for a refund. I left with two expensive jugs of eggnog, lesson learned.