Living alone, being alone, being lonely...

Living alone, being alone, being lonely, according to a recent article in “Time” magazine, living alone is now the “new” norm and more people are living this way, and to a degree, I agree. The last relationship I was in ended a little over two years ago and now, I couldn’t be happier. (Of course I could be happier…buy my book!)

            I have been single for 21 years, two months, and 3 days. During that time I have tried to find that “perfect” women, but it took me that length of time to find out she didn’t exist. In my last relationship I had come to the conclusion that my ex-girlfriend just wanted a “sugar-daddy”, and she was only a couple of years younger than me.

            Not only that, she continued to mention, she didn’t want to be alone and wanted someone to take care of her. Some things I don’t mind but being as it was and as long as I had been with her, I really had to bite my lip and sit my hands when I was with her, just so I wouldn’t hurt her feeling because of some of the stupid things she said or did.

            In my years I had to cook or I would have to go and get fast food at some Mickey D’s joint or worse. One of the things that set me off, with my ex-girlfriend, she cooked everything in a microwave! Salmon, chicken and her favorite, when I stopped by after playing racquetball, soup. And not just any soup, Mushroom soup…I hate it with a passion, now.

            Me, on the other hand had to learn how to cook and I would cook a full plate of food and, don’t get me wrong, I really love cooking breakfast. At least my son’s love my breakfast, so they say. But, I digress…

            A few of the things my ex liked to do, go to concerts, and she only wanted to sit in the front row. Me, I don’t mind sitting up on the hill in the grass and watch the stars, so to speak. She was causing me to go broke when it came to doing things, Even though she suggested that we find free things to do. But those free things included me driving to her, 40.4 miles away, then to where ever the free event was and she wanted a meal too. Sometimes I think retirement sucks…in a one-way relationship. She was just an expensive woman and loved expensive things, so I noted.

            Anyway, I am the type of guy who loves to stay active and when it came to active my ex, she tried her best, just couldn’t keep up. So, it was doing things on my own or going to her house and watch a movie.

            Then, after one year, being with her, I realized that I could move faster, do things better and have more fun if I went by myself. I rejoined a bowling league, a racquetball league and a softball league. And being in a ski club the activities are endless. And I do as many as I can find without killing myself in the process.

            Yes, I enjoy living alone and if that is the new “norm”, I’m all for it. But, for all its worth, that means that I am alone quite a lot now, at least at home. That too, I don’t mind, it just means, I have to get things done. And my two cats, Tom and Jerry help a lot, whether they know it or not. And, and…watch an action movie on my HDTV, with the sound up as loud as I can stand.

            Lonely? I don’t think so…I say this because even though I sit here, writing (most of this day), I am in no way lonely. I have too many diversions, friends and family. And, if you think about it, it helps to have children. I have two sons and, unlike the relationship I didn’t have with my father, I make sure I have a fruitful relationship with my sons.

            In the years of the internet, I have done the online dating thing and I would have to say, I had some success, considering, there are different degrees of success. But, if I delve deeply, I find out, more or less, I have been a failure, with online dating. Only, because I am still alone, but I wouldn’t go that far and say, failure. I say this because, in all those year I have met some wonderful women and quite a few are still friends, thanks in part to Facebook and MySpace and other social media.

            But, alas, I am still living alone…and loving it. At this point in my life I find it easier to enjoy life by being alone, and the KEY, is living alone, being along, but not being lonely.