Today is February 9, 2013 and I have finally come to the
conclusion, on a great many things this day. All of them, in regard, to my
writing life. I had a little talk with my daughter-in-law and it would seem
that she has more faith in me than I do with myself, which is odd for me to
lack one of the only things I have going for me when it comes to writing.
I am one of those people that have a positive attitude about
life, love and the pursuit of happiness, since I retired in 2006. This includes
my writing life. I was ecstatic when I self-published my book and of course I
went through the roof when I self-published my second book, like a kid in an
all you can eat candy store.
But, I digress…things are, I feel, different this year. It has been difficult for me to put words on
paper (on screen). I wouldn’t go as far as to say I have been procrastinating,
or being lazy, (the latter is because of my retirement *smile*), but what has
happened is that I looked back at the last few years and have seen something in
me that kind of just punched me in the gut causing me to put a halt to writing
and I have to find some way to get back on track.
I have finished two novels so far, one a book of science
fiction and my fictional autobiography. Now that I think about it I have
finished, in the last two years, two short stories to which I would to turn
into e-books and two screenplays. And I have finished 29,107 words for part two
of my fictional autobiography, out a series of five stories.
What I've realized is; I have been asking friends and family
to help with my works until I can succeed an get them published, and make
something (money) from my works. This approach isn’t working, though. Also, my
cats have the tendency to fight as to see who gets to sit in my lap as I am
writing and that’s not helping one bit.
Nevertheless, this world is based on “money”. In order to
get things done you have to pay for what you get. I know this, but being a
starving writer, it doesn’t hurt to ask. On that point, everyone wants to read
my stories. That I really don’t mind, because I could use the feedback, bad or
good. There are many problems with that, though. One is that most folks are
busy, and I don’t have a problem with that, to the point that it has taken a
year to get any answers. And as of right now I have gotten nothing back.
I even offered a family member some compensation; that
apparently hasn’t produced anything. So, I can either save up more cash, (do
make a few bucks selling books and odds and ends on eBay and Half.com.) and
again offer it so I can get things done. Which is what I am going to have to
do? Only because my novel is sitting here collecting dust.
Another thing that keeps coming up, I could learn to use and
create cover art on my own. I looked at that for quite a long time and came to
the conclusion, if I was 20 something I could learn how to really utilize Adobe
Photoshop, but I’m not 20 something and I am trying to commit myself to
finishing my novels and have them published. I am getting hungrier by the day.
I guess, the more I look at it and I can’t say I’m being let
down by asking friends and family for help but it isn’t helping. Money makes
the world go around, but seems like the buck passed my house by. All this means
is that I am going to have to get up on my pony and do the giddy up.
I do know one thing; I am going to have to continue writing every
day, again. I was doing well last year and I have to start writing every day
again, starting today, now. And since the beginning of this year I have opened Word
and sat and looked at the screen for hours. Can’t do that anymore. My stomach
is growling right now, and I really miss my steak and Lobster, in a creamy
butter sauce.
It took me ten days to write 29,000 words last year. Now I
have to see if I can replicate those numbers. No, I don’t have to take ten day,
I just have to finish, and continue to write! For whatever reason I just happened
across a web site that offers jobs for freelance writers and I now and have
taken advantage of that site. That should keep the blood flowing.
As I sit here, looking at the words flow across the screen,
I have also realized that; am I being hard on myself and other by asking for their
help? And not bugging them to finish? But, as I see it I can only blame myself
for my failure or success. And hunger?
2 comments:
I recently read an essay in class that was really a rant, but in it, the author said that we need to know that no one needs to read our work for it to be ready. So trust in your own writing skills and editing skills. That doesn't mean that other people can't help provide feedback, but ultimately you know best when your writing is ready.
A prompt I did today in a workshop: Start with the words "I remember." Write down any thoughts that come to your mind. I remember the day I learned to tie my shoes, the time you told me..., the smell of..., the day my mother... Just write down memories. Don't dwell in them or expound upon them. But that list can be revisited later when you need something to write about and don't have a clue where to start.
Another prompt:
Start with a familiar object around you and let that object be the entry point into a piece of writing.
Best wishes. These prompts ideas are from Joy Gaines-Friedler.
You know it's funny, all of those things went through my mind. But, I figured that I must do what I have to do and do it for me. I am all the help I need and I have to work with it or starve.
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