What I hate about not working out, (for a week, now), I eat more junk food, IE. Potato chips and cookies and ice cream... Stuff like that.

KARMA is a...

Karma

I tend not to talk about other people, even though they may have done something stupid or hurtful. I do think about it at great lengths, though. And I really never thought about the word Karma, I always called it, “what goes around comes around.” But, in my lifetime I have never really see cause or effect on that thought.

            During those times, many, many years ago I never wished something like karma or something bad to any person on my bad side. But, way too many times I have heard it from other people. And the more I think about it I can’t see that anything “bad” has happened to me because of something that I did to someone else, in my past, per se. To which, I really try my hardest not to do bad thing to other people, regardless.

            I look back on my life and have come to the conclusion that I have lived the ‘status quo’ for most of my life. But I am, and have been very cautious a great many times in my life, because I have enjoyed doing many adventurous things, not crazy things, though.

            Is it karma, though?  For most of my life I figured that I could truly never have a relationship because of how I was raised, even though I came from a large family but, my mother and father fought like Joe Frazier and Muhammad Ali throughout my early life. I never wanted to ever argue with anyone, especially women, like my parents did.

            So, I spent most of my 20s only having so called, ‘one night stands’. In my late 20s I got married but, that lasted a mere 10 years. I have now been divorced (single) for just about 24 years. So, I went back to those ‘one night stands’ for those 23 and a half years, fearing a relationship.

             Now, as I look back, I can see that a few of those women may have gotten hurt because they wanted more and I felt that I couldn’t give more so I moved on. But, did karma get me in the end? Maybe…In June of 2006 I had my prostate removed and now my sex life is kaput. So, I feel, a relationship is out of the question.

            Why do I say this? In that short time I have only met one woman who understood what I was going through and she stood by me. But a relationship with her was out of the question, mainly because of her lifestyle. She had a bad, a very bad case of the MEs!

            So, when I tried to have, find someone to have a relationship with and told them my problem I was left holding the rose. So, I decided to enjoy life, the life of being single. I kind of feel better about it, but I do miss a few things, maybe a relationship. Karma! I guess you could say that was introduced into my life, but thank goodness it didn’t become a bitch, as they say about Karma.

            But, I digress, just a tiny bit. What brought up Karma…I was talking to an old friend, who worked with me years ago. We retired from our job and he went and moved to a southern state.

            Anyway, a person, who worked with both of us, came into question. My story; in 1990, in one of the buildings I worked in, there were two people on days and 14 on the night shift, I worked the day shift. Sometimes, if I worked overtime and had to stay late I would punch in the shift coming in and they would punch me out.

            One of the guys had called me, I can’t remember his name or what we were talking about, but it came up that he was coming in and I mentioned to him to punch me out and I would punch everyone in. He said that he wouldn’t but he still wanted me to punch him in. I told him I wouldn’t punch him in and he flew off the hammer.

            Anyway, I found out that this guy, who use to be a friend (or just a co-worker that I had known for years) hated me with fervor. In 2000 my mother passed away. I was told by a co-worker, that this person told them, ‘he didn’t care and he wished that it was me who died’.           

            To this day I cannot figure out what set this person off towards hating with that kind of ache. Around 1995 I heard that he had cancer and died that year. Karma? Maybe…     

            I guess that’s got me thinking about Karma today. maybe it was karma that intervened into my life or it was just some zealous doctor that was trying out a new technique that removes one’s prostate without being overtly invasive. Or Karma?